i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize