i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
