after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
