none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
