he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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