Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Randomize
