my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
