I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
