:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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