are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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