Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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