check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
