Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
