Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
