He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize