Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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