At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
