yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My liver just had a heart attack.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
