One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
