I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
