Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
