I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
