My liver just broke up with me...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
