What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize