her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
