is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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