guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she told me i tasted like america
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
