Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
