he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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