discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
