lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
