she smelled like a LAN party
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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