The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize