Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
