and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
