im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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