Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
