Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
