i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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