Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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