did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
