I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
