im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
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