You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize