Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My ass is underappreciated
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize