do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
