I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
