my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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