If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
