So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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