No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
