OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
