Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
