worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
