I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
