sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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