apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
