yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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