i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
