It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
