I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
