I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bet he comes in French.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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