SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
