theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
