I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
