There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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